KWIABLE

The Bachelor Arie Breaks off Engagement with Becca to Propose to Lauren 

This is what can go wrong, when you go on a TV show with the world watching. Do we blame anyone for how things unfolded? Can we blame anyone? I watched the whole season and the finale, and I’ve read comments. It was really hard to watch. I don’t know what I would have done in Arie’s shoes. I felt he wasn’t ready to choose between the two women, but like most of us watching, I wanted him to be ready and to pick the right one. When he said he was ready and seemed absolutely sure of his choice, I felt great, even though I knew one of these terrific women would be hurt, because I was just glad he would make one of them happy for a lifetime. Whenever I watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette, if the final two are terrific, it’s very hard to watch and stressful. This was the case this time. I felt nothing bad towards either, and I would have had a hard time if I had to make the choice myself. I like Becca a little bit more, and I was happy Arie chose her, but I was very sad for Lauren. This was a tough season for us viewers.

There were a lot of accusations about Arie talking with other contestants that went home, while the show aired, and he was already back with Lauren. I can understand the women being upset and feeling protective of Lauren. We also need to understand, they didn’t get picked, so of course they’re going to be critical of this. They care about Becca and Lauren, but would they subconsciously want to ruin everything for Arie? It’s the herd mentality, and displacing blame. Instead of being the hurt girlfriends, they’re acting like victims, and they’re putting focus on Arie the Monster. I don’t think they realize the difficulty from his perspective being the bachelor. He meets these terrific women, gets limited dates and time with each of them, and a certain amount of time to fall in love or not. How is that easy? For them, they know what they’re getting into, and he can say goodbye at any time.

Mistakes of saying I love you to two women?

I know you can fall in love with more than one person at the same time, its happened to me. This wasn’t the first season where the I’m in love with you bombs were dropped. How else can they explore those feelings? Besides, one thing about this show, is everyone needs to say it at some point to make it further along. If you’re not falling for the person or in love, your days are numbered. So, it always feels like everyone who makes it beyond a certain point, is jockeying for the right time to say it, or they can be the next going home. If your timing is off or you’re too late, you risk losing the person you care for. That’s also how people can get hurt, such as the women on Arie’s season. I can’t fault him for having feelings for more than one woman, because it takes time to really figure out who is the one for us. This is a difficult show, it’s nothing like real life, so how can we blame Arie for making a mistake. Sometimes the clear choice, is not the choice of the heart, and that’s what I believe happened with Arie.

This is the nature of the show. I don’t think it was fake for any dramatics. Arie has all of these smart and beautiful women to choose from, and that’s hard to do. I don’t blame him for trying to sort it out and wanting to explore all of these relationships. Even after the fact, if he feels he made a mistake, why shouldn’t he try to fix it. If he’s truly leading with his heart and looking for love, it’s only natural he’d want to keep getting to know someone he cares about. That’s what dating is. How many of us have made mistakes, called an ex to try to get back together, or broke up with someone who didn’t see it coming? Relationships aren’t always pleasant, and they won’t always go our way. Arie and the women of the bachelor are no different. Because of time constraints and the nature of the show, it makes it even worse. That people won’t all be pleased about the outcome, is to be expected. That Arie would be criticized, is to be expected. The one thing I really hope, is this is what Arie and Lauren both want. I hope they’re in love. The show is not natural, and it comes with pressures we’d never imagine. It has worked for many on the show before Arie, so the process can work. The downside, is hearts will be broken, and that can’t be avoided on the show. There’s always going to be disappointment and mistakes made. In the end, we all need to follow our hearts, even though someone might get hurt. As saddened as I am for Becca, I hope it works out for Arie and Lauren, and they have eternal love.